Some of you may have heard me mention the acronym LBFMPBFR prior to my departure to Southeast Asia, a term I was introduced to by some older friends who spent most of the 1980s stationed in the Philippines and quickly adopted into my vocabulary. It is an absolutely wonderful term, commonly known as LBFM for short. Much to my surprise many people — especially world travelers — are already aware of it.
What does it stand for? “Little Brown Fucking Machine Powered By Fish & Rice”
To be less vulgar, what it really means is an accommodating Asian woman who will provide enthusiastic sex just because….well, because of many reasons. They each have their own. The point is, unlike women from the West — who require big spending and even then often still will use sex against men by removing it from the equation as some sort of arcane, biologically unnatural punishment — Asian women are a lot more concerned about a man’s most basic needs.
Trust me, I don’t mind moving heaven and earth to provide for you my dear. But I love it when you care for me as well, instead of worrying about your salon appointment. (Trust me, you look gorgeous without it anyway.)
The term “LBFM” was coined several decades ago when Western soldiers were posted to Asia and discovered the joys of LBFM. Having come from lands where women were neither little nor accommodating, young (and not so young) soldiers and sailors very quickly warmed to the LBFM concept.
Believe it or not, as I have learned so far, the availability of enthusiastic LBFM sex also played an indirect role in extending the Vietnam War.
According to historical inside sources, members of the press, the military brass, and even the Embassy personnel slanted their reports to make the war seem ultimately winnable.
Why? They were in no hurry to trade the LBFMs in Asia for the OOSMs (“Over-sized Overbearing Spending Machines”) they had left back home. And I for one completely understand why they were not at all eager to return home to their OOSMs when their tour of duty was over — hell, many never did!
All of my older buddies returned with Filipina wives, except for one who stayed behind in the Philippines….with his new Filipina wife 😉 I can’t say I blame them, either. Personally, I don’t want to return home when this adventure is over. Unfortunately I currently do not have enough funds to live here indefinitely with no job, and I am waaaaay too young to even think about retiring. One day though, one day…
Now, I am sure some of you believe the term LBFM is derogatory, right? Originally, yes I suppose it was. Now, however, it is almost a compliment. LBFMs are great women who will do anything to satisfy their man. But back then, those were the days of “saints and whores”. The good girls back home didn’t put out yet many guys would marry the good girls regardless, in the belief that they will not stray after marriage either. But you have to remember, the good women are not always quality women.
LBFM ≠ Prostitute
While they both have sexual enthusiasm in abundance, one directs it all towards her man while the other chases that almighty dollar more than love.
I mean, seriously now, LBFMs are fun! I mean fuck, they put out and love doin’ it! And to guys back then who fell for the good girls scam — the “wide-eyes” back home instead of the “slanted-eyes” here. (That’s how they put it, not me. I’m not being racist here folks. Sexist, sure, maybe, but definitely not racist.) Anyway, LBFMs in their opinion weren’t “quality women”.
Many young guys did actually marry an LBFM and brought her home, but other guys maintained the distinction. They did their tour of duty, got lots of LBFM sex, maybe knocked up an LBFM or two along the way, but then headed back to Kansas to marry their college sweethearts — many of whom turned out to have married someone else while her “one and only” was overseas fighting (or at the very least found a new fuck-buddy in the meantime). Me, personally, I am still looking for the LBFM I can call my own, maybe even bring home! 😀 (you think I’m kidding but I am dead serious…)
Course, as I have already warned a few of you, after a year or two back in the States I will be moving here. As such, I have decided I do not need to find my wife here, she will still be waiting for me when I return.
LBFM vs OOSM
All in all, what it really comes down to is LBFM versus OOSM. Having seen all I have seen, the winner is, and always will be, the LBFMs. OOSMs require too much effort and money with not enough return on the investment. They are constantly nagging or in need — or worse, they want to change you to better suit them. By contrast, the LBFMs are completely content with me the way I am, and willing to satisfy my every whim, whether sexual or not… Oh man oh man its fucking great, I don’t know what else to say!
This post was imported from my old travel blog Shibuya Daze, a drunken, laughable journal intended only for friends that eventually evolved into The HoliDaze travel community. Try reading some of the posts that are not 10 years old — promise they are better 😉